Loneliness after moving abroad

Short answer: loneliness after moving abroad is very common. You lose your everyday network all at once, and new friendships take time and repeated contact to grow. It often lasts longer than people expect, even when work and life look good from the outside. Regular routines with the same people, a few deeper relationships, and support when low mood sets in all help.

Why it hits so hard

When you move, you do not just leave people. You leave the easy, unplanned contact: the colleague you have lunch with, the neighbour, the friend you can call at the last minute. Most of that cannot be replaced by video calls.

At the same time, adults in a new country often:

• work long hours, with little left for building a social life;
• socialise in a second language, which is tiring and makes you feel less like yourself;
• find local circles already full, especially in cultures where friendships are formed early and kept for life;
• move again after a few years, so it feels pointless to invest.

Lonely, even with people around

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Many expats have a busy calendar and still feel lonely, because the relationships are pleasant but shallow. What is missing is someone who knows you, your history and your language.

What helps

• Repetition over events. Friendships grow through seeing the same people regularly. A weekly class, sports team, choir or volunteer group works better than one-off meetups.
• Say yes, then invite. Accept invitations even when tired, and be the one who suggests the next meeting.
• Go deeper with a few. Two or three closer friends matter more than many acquaintances.
• Mix communities. Expat groups help you settle quickly; local friends help you belong.
• Keep home, in proportion. Regular calls support you, but they should not take the place of building something where you are.
• Look after the basics. Sleep, daylight and exercise make reaching out easier.

When loneliness becomes something more

Get help if, for several weeks, you feel low most days, lose interest in things you liked, sleep or eat much more or less, or start avoiding people even when you could see them. Long-term loneliness raises the risk of depression and anxiety. See also culture shock: the stages and when to get help.

Loneliness is one of the most common reasons expats start therapy with us. At Lon Clinic, you can have online therapy in English, with the first session at €35. Therapy in English, online across Europe.